For much of my life, it felt as though I was at the mercy of whatever life wanted to dish out. Much of the time I viewed life as something that just happened to me. From age nine to twenty-seven, I struggled with depression and anxiety. As a result of many things that happened in my childhood, I transformed from a child that trusted easily to one that was skeptical by default. From skepticism stemmed the paranoia that others wanted to harm me, use me, violate me, etc. In my current awareness, I recognize that the unhealed pains of childhood kept me from always reaching out for help and also receiving help when I was in emotional and spiritual distress. I only began reaching out to others for help a few years ago.
Tag Archives: Freedom
Vulnerability and Self Sabotage: Exposing Wounds in Exchange for Healing and Restoration
I can’t quite put my finger on exactly how it happened or how I ended up in a place of fearing being myself. I somehow thought it was a good idea to try to separate who I was into compartments. It was in this remote place that I was made aware of the aftermath of my own self sabotage. The ways in which I have approached my spiritual journey have consisted of over and under spiritualization. I find myself going in loops of holding myself to a standard of a certain level of spiritual maturity and then painfully recognizing where I actually am is no where near where I am comfortable with admitting. As a result I tend to think perhaps I don’t trust God enough because I am not further along in my walk.
Waging War in the Maze of Your Mind
We are told as Christians that we demolish arguments and every claim that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). But what happens when we try to wage war in the battlefield of our minds but our actions are still rebellious towards God? What happens when we really believe that we are within the will of God in a moment’s time, only to have Holy Spirit correct us and bring to our remembrance the fundamentals of our faith we seemed to have forgotten? One of them being OBEDIENCE.
Warrior Letters 