My brain’s been fogging and lagging like a laptop with too many large applications open on it. Though that and waves of fatigue have come, I have found safety in going slow today, not rushing to get so many things done that can wait another day and taking my time while I venture into exploring more of what it is You are leading and directing me to do moment by moment.
With this Spring weather here, comes both bouts of hope that well up and spring through me as well as these weird feelings of fear and angst like the worst or scariest things are around the corner…yet the more I keep in touch with You through the day and take my time when these thoughts arise, the less and less I find myself feeling as though I’m going through them alone. They come up and quickly dissipate; and even when the thoughts are gone and the sensation of fear still lingers, the reality of You being with me remains and the feelings subside.
This past year I didn’t accomplish as much as I had hoped I would and yet the fear of the basics of faith, discipline, and confronting stagnation was none of which I wanted to do. It felt like I was returning to a home that was so destroyed it was inhabitable and yet I had nowhere else to live. I had no choice but to face it and every day I have to do such a thing while gripping to hope by faith that these types of days won’t be my final ones but if I don’t listen to Your promptings, they’ll be all I ever see.
Warrior Letters 