Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash
The year is coming to a quick close and Sunday was a day that pushed me beyond a boundary that I had held up for quite some time. I believe for over a year now, my husband, Juan has vocalized his desire to start a gun business. Whether it be a gun shop or a shooting range or retail for shooting gear, if it has to do with guns, he wants in. With that being said, we had been bumping heads when it came to this because of past time delegations on planning and researching for the business. There was a time when I hardly could get him to pry his eyes off of Reddit and other sites geared toward gun sales and deals.
Now, though the love for all things artillery is still very much in his heart, it has been my heart that has begun to change. During a conversation around this time last year, I discovered Juan’s love for guns and shooting is much like my love for dancing. It brings about a layer of joy that nothing else ever has, outside of God, and you even find ways that you connect with God while doing it.
Well, for a while I have been growing on the idea that Juan really wants to start this business and I have been letting go more and more and handing it all over to God. It has not been easy in the slightest. Even Sunday I wanted to buck and ask a bunch of questions and make comments but there was just this sense of feeling as though it would take way more energy to do that than it would to just be quiet. So I chose to just remain quiet. For once in a while, if I can be transparent here, it actually felt natural to just not make waves.
Backtrack to Sunday. Juan asked me if we could drive over to a town nearby to take a look at some property that he was interested in. It’s an old building that used to be a grocery store along with a nice chunk of land.
When we were on our way to the property, I began to notice that I was becoming calmer. I was not toying with a bunch of thoughts and questions about the importance or the sense it made to drive 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back just to take a peek at the place. When we pulled up to the parking lot of the building, there was just this sense of feeling like ‘it may not look the way we may have thought and it may seem not as we would’ve liked it to (and it might also be quite far) BUT…It is good. I prayed before we ever reached the location that God would allow Juan to have whatever it is that He desires for him to have because that is what will be good for both of us. I don’t want anything to get in the way of the plans that God has for our lives, no matter how scary or unsure the plans may seem to be. At the end of the day, it’s all about just trusting God with our entire lives. Surrendering everything over to Him because He owns it all. It is His, not ours.
Lord, my dear Heavenly Father, I ask that You look over us and aid in us not being lead into any kind of temptation; that we not be eager beavers and go ahead of any plans that you have for us nor lag behind any place You are calling us to. First, I would like to say thank You for Sunday and for helping Juan and me to get better at being more on track with one another within our marriage than we have for like the past month or so. I want to thank You Lord for washing over us with Your breath and Your presence when we entered worship that morning. I thank You for fellowship, for loving on us and for meeting us at church. I also thank You for allowing us to make it to the property we were viewing and back home safely. I also thank You Lord for helping me to keep my mouth shut and not criticizing Juan for wanting to drive out there to see the building and the land and also for working through me to encourage him and help him to see that if this be for Your glory and if this be a part of Your plan for us to purchase this land and for Juan to build this business, that it be so. Lord, if this be You and this business be what You desire for Juan, then I ask that nothing deter him from the plan that You have for him and I ask that You help me to be the perfect helpmate fit for him to help him move forward in the direction that You desire for him to go. God, I thank You for the peace that is within me right now and I thank You for having heard me Saturday night and for speaking to me during service Sunday morning.
I thank You Lord also for loving on me, supporting me, teaching me and building me up in You. I am thankful for what all You have done for me, what You are doing now, and what You are about to do. I feel something huge happening yet calm, yet violently rapid, yet peaceful, and You are all of those things but, not violent in the sense of destructive in a reckless way, but in a way that we are just so overwhelmed by You Lord. Thank You, Jesus, for loving us. I ask Lord, that You continue to help us to be open to the love that You desire to fully give to us so that we may, in turn, love You and then love our selves so that we may then love on others Lord, fully, completely, and without any form of restraint Lord. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Warrior Letters 