Dear Jesus,

Photo by Rohit Guntur on Unsplash

***The following is a prayer/letter to Jesus that I was asked to write down. When I wrote it down, I had no intentions on making it public but after writing it, I’m about 54% sure that the Lord was telling me to make it public. Other than spelling errors and names, nothing was altered, not even the grammar***

This morning when I woke up, I prayed and then I looked at some Scripture and read it. Last night I was listening to Nehemiah and fell asleep. I looked to see what all I might have listened to and went past the chapter that I last remembered hearing and trying to actively listen to. The next chapter was talking about how the people in the city next to where the wall that Nehemiah was building with other men, they didn’t like it. The men had to build the wall with one hand and with the other they had to hold a weapon so that they could also be prepared to fight whenever they needed to. It reminded me of when Pastor Ford had gone over these Scriptures and used them during a Father’s day sermon and also how I believed, Lord, that You had brought these scriptures to my attention beforehand. Thank you for refreshing my memory on these Scriptures and for reminding me that I need to be like Nehemiah and keep building while still being on guard against attacks.

After reading those Scriptures, I somehow came across a video that a young man on YouTube had made and he was talking about how he had been tempted for the last two months and that he had given in just yesterday and that he desired prayer. So I prayed and then I wrote a comment because it reminded me of the Psalm that Pastor (name left out for protection of identity) was talking about last night at (name left out for protection of identity). She spoke about the Psalm that David wrote to You Lord after He had slept with Bathsheba in Psalm 50. I shared that with the young man as well as the truth that Your grace and Your love are so much greater than any sin, past, present, or future, that we could ever commit. That You laid down Your life once and for all that would believe in You, that their sin be wiped clean and that they be saved because they have faith in You Jesus and believe in You and trust You. They believe that You live and You reign and that You were raised to life from the grave and that You, Jesus, are seated in Heaven praying on our behalf. Thank you Jesus.

After that I saw another video about a lady talking about a rapture dream that she had had and how You told her in the dream that You were coming earlier than what we had thought You were. When watching the video, I felt the spirit of fear come on me and try to take up full residency. I thought for a moment about how I had wanted a rapture dream and believed the lie for a moment that I had to have one to have confirmation that I was saved and then I started to become jealous of the lady and think ‘I want that’, ‘I want a rapture dream’, as if that is what would save me. And while sitting there, I was reminded of the time that I dreamed that You were standing outside of the earth, all dressed in white, even Your helmet was white, and I was standing to the left of You but behind You and it was understood that You were ‘sitting on ready’, waiting for the command of the Father to come to earth again. It also had come to my mind that I had had a vision that had America and Africa in it and it had to do with the rapture I believe. I had forgotten about these things Lord, and I thank You for reminding me of them. I thank You for squashing the lies of the enemy once again and for trading Your peace for the fear that I was feeling. I also was reminded of the dream that I had had about (name left out for protection of identity) and I and how we both shot up into the air and I was holding onto her and I said I love you to her and when I said it, I also heard I forgive you and it was as if both were being said at the same time but just one verbally and the other spiritually but it still being audible. Right after that, I looked up and saw the stars and I believed that I was going to Heaven and I saw what looked like smoke in the form of what I believed was Your face Lord and I thought, oh I need to repent of anything that I may have done that I have not repented of and it was like (name left out for protection of identity) wasn’t there anymore and all I felt was this feeling of pure love and joy and peace and I didn’t want to leave that dream, I didn’t want to be separated from that feeling that comes from being in Your presence Lord.

And I realized that I was giving ear to the enemy and listening to his lies, when I don’t have to, when I can live in the fullness of You Lord and accept the full measure of freedom and joy and love and peace and self control, and goodness, and gentleness and patience and faithfulness and kindness. Thank You for the fruit of Your Spirit Lord!!!! Hallelujah!!!