Photo by Joel Danielson on Unsplash
Living life walking by faith has been something that I’ve come to realize is like a big ball of fear with an awesome adventure inside of it. Kind of like those Wonder Balls I always wanted as a child but wasn’t allowed to have except maybe once. Though with the Wonder Ball, I enjoyed chocolate enough that I didn’t mind the hollowed out spherical contraption in which this mysterious prize was in, it wasn’t the reason why I wanted it. I wanted the toy inside of the candy.
And such is life when you are faithing it. The adventure and the newness of the territory that God is encouraging you to step into and trust Him for, that’s what you want, but like most of us, you don’t really care for the fear attached to it. You wish you could just know what was on the other side of what He is wanting you to do.
I started Warrior Letters in faith that it would be a blog for testimonies and then I kept changing the idea, worrying about the look of the blog itself, and while that is important, it wasn’t as important as being obedient and doing the first thing that God had called me to do with it, which was write. A flood of feelings of inadequacy filled my mind and every time I would begin to write, I would just freeze. It was like I had absolutely nothing to talk about. Though I had heard a pastor once say “if you talk about your struggles, you’ll have plenty of material,” it was still difficult to just step out and go for it.
In conversation with a relative of mine I stated I was easing my way to living my life mid-air, being held up by faith. I’m still sitting on the edge looking out and trying not to worry about the possible drop while Jesus keeps screaming JUMP!!! Or so that’s what it feels like sometimes. I hadn’t realized just how important it is to not only live by faith but to do what ever it is that God is asking you to do right when He is wanting you to do it. Not earlier. Not later.
I remember when I lived in Chicago IL and worked for Postmates full time. I could hardly pay my rent, let alone make ends for other bills as well as feed myself. I had been on a strict ramen and peanut butter sandwich diet for quite some time and was close to running out of bread. I had just finished up my shift for the night and decided to go get a loaf from Jewel-Osco. I checked my bank account on my phone and was a little concerned. My account looked like it read that I was $6 and some change in the hole but I also had a crack on my phone so I thought, surely my account means to say that I have 6 actual dollars. In fear, I began to try to check online instead of on the bank app but I heard Holy Spirit say to me, just go in. So I went ahead and faithed it right in that moment. I got out of my car, went into Jewel-Osco, saw the most delicious apple I had ever seen and was told to only get bread so I did. I got in line and was so anxious but then I began to pray and thank God for a miracle and for providing for me. A great sense of peace fell over me as I waited in line. Immediately after I ended the prayer, a man in front of me turned around and saw that I only had bread in my hand and invited me to go ahead of him. It was now my turn to have my bread rung up and swipe my card. I was a little nervous but just believed that somehow the money would be in the account. It was in that moment that the cashier closed her line and it was just her, the man who let me in front of him, and myself. I swiped my card for a dollar and some change and it was declined. I swiped again and it was indeed declined again. The man behind me told me not to worry about it and that he would pay for it. I told him thank you and briskly exited the store before anyone could see the tears falling from my eyes. I cried my whole drive home from downtown on Roosevelt to South Shore Dr.
Easing my way to living my life mid-air, being held up by faith. I’m still sitting on the edge looking out and trying not to worry about the possible drop while Jesus keeps screaming JUMP!!! Or so that’s what it feels like sometimes.
Paris Lopez
Some of you may be believing for more intense and weightier miracles in your life or may be facing bigger giants than just some occasional embarrassment at the grocery store when you can’t even afford a loaf of bread but it is all riding on the same faith. It is all rooted in believing that God is who He says He is. That He is our provider. That He is our banner. That He is our peace.
I Challenge you today, and every day from here on out, to step out in faith every day and do that thing or those things that God has been telling you to do as well as trusting and believing that He will come through for you. And with this I leave you with this scripture.
The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD and He delights in his way. Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed for the LORD is holding his hand. I once was young and now am old, yet never have I seen the righteous abandoned or their children begging for bread. They are ever generous and quick to lend, and their children are a blessing.
Psalm 37:23-26
Warrior Letters 